Is the orange jello edible???

So, we were all sitting around eating Christmas dinner when mom realized that no one was eating her orange jello. After a brief go around the table, it came to light that no one present at this particular dinner table had EVER eaten her orange Christmas jello - a fact that has apparently eluded mom for quite some time. Here is a picture of mom with the pooled orange jello sample. As evidence that this scene was not staged, note the empty wine glasses and plates strewn about the table.



After enumerating our various reasons for not liking the jello, which ranged from texture to being unsure of the exact nature of the components required to make such a dish, a nagging question began to fester within my head:

Would a wild Texas pig eat this stuff? It seems that a rigorous scientific approach could answer this question.


Hypothesis:

The jello is not edible. Therefore, it will not be eaten by wild pigs.

Experimental Approach:

The orange jello sample was pooled into a tuperware container and was transported to Edwards county, about 17 miles down County Road 350, just north of Barksdale, TX. At approximately 7:30 PM, the entire orange jello sample was placed underneath our pig assassination set-up at Dwayne's place:



The pig assassination set-up consisted of an unfenced corn feeder (to attract the pigs), and a motion detector and light (to illuminate the pigs to be assassinated). The motion detector was coupled to an alarm in the trailer to alert the sleeping assassins to the presence of pigs. As the alarm went off in the middle of the night, the assassins woke, walked out to the killing tree, and fired either 30-06 or 243 caliber bullets at the pigs.

Results and Discussion:

The following morning, we woke and inspected the pile of orange jello. The pig alarm had gone off periodically throughout the night (a total of 7 or 8 times). As the following picture shows, the jello pile was undisturbed:



Note the neat edges around the roughly cubicle slabs of orange jello - exactly as mom had cut them.

Here is a different perspective of the same jello pile:



Note the two large, dead boars situated at a respectable distance from the orange jello.

The following picture shows the large spotted boar at night, providing a control to demonstrate that we did not shoot it somewhere else and then drag it to the jello pile. Seriously, that thing weighed over 150 lbs, we were not about to move it without due cause. For perspective, look at the pig next to me (I weigh about 190).





Conclusion:

If the orange jello will not be eaten by wild Texas pigs - which don't exactly have the most selective palates - then it must not be suitable for human consumption. Sorry mom.

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As it turns out, we did not just engage in experimental tomfoolery at the deer camp. We actually did some real hunting. Here are a few pictures of Jack with his first buck (a nice little 8 point).





Here is a picture of Joe with the first axis deer shot at Dwayne's place. This thing actually attacked us while we tried to track it into the brush. That's a story in itself.



Here is a picture of me with my lone kill for the weekend. It is not a spotted fawn. It is the offspring of the axis deer that Joe shot.



Here's a picture of Jack chillin' by the camp fire.